Wicca and Real Witches

As many of you know, I am a Wiccan and I identify as a witch; but most people have no idea what this means. There are so many stereotypes, false information and fears associated with witchcraft and Wicca that I constantly feel the need to clear it up. It has grown even worse with the so called "fluffy bunny" witches who are into it just because it seems cool to. Those types of "witches" can be easily weeded out.

So what is a witch? A person that practices witchcraft. Yes, witchcraft is real, but not in the way one would assume. What is a Wiccan? A practitioner of the religion of Wicca. Wicca is a Pagan religion; Paganism is a sort of umbrella term for polytheist (the worship of many gods) religions that worship nature. All Wiccans are Pagans, but not all Pagans are Wiccan. Paganism is "the old religion" , it is possibly the oldest existing religion dating back to the ancient druids, even further.

Not all Witches are Pagan and some Wiccans I am sure do not practice witchcraft. But the majority of us do, it is a huge part of our religion and our lives.

One major misunderstanding is that Wiccans worship Satan. We do not! In fact, Wiccans are the most peaceful group of people. We hang out it in forests and nature (and yes, some of us choose to go skyclad or nude). We live by a code or a guideline called the Wiccan Rede, which states "If it harm ye none, do as ye will."; it means we can do or believe whatever we want as long as it harms no one. We believe in the laws of karma, that anything negative we do will return to us threefold or three times as worse. We do not sacrifice chickens or harm animals, life is sacred to us. I have been known to silently pray for roadkill I come across; if I find a dead mouse outside or within my home, I will bury it with care and say a blessing for it.

Much like the Christian cross,the pentacle is our religious symbol. There are so many misconceptions about pentacles and pentagrams. This symbol is not evil! The Satanic symbol people mistake the pentagram for is called the Baphomet. There is nothing negative about the pentagram. 

A pentagram is the star without a surrounding circle, a pentacle has the circle around it. The Pentacle/Pentagram is a representation of the five elements - Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit. These elements are the basis of the earth and really life itself. 

Wicca as we know it today was founded by a man named Gerald Gardner. There is much debate among our community on this man and his methods. Personally I believe he was exploiting the religion to have sex with lots of women; but that is neither here nor there. What is beautiful about Wicca is there are no set rules as to what you have to believe in. You are free to believe in and worship as you wish! You can actually choose which group of gods you wish to worship - this even includes Norse, Celtic, Egyption and Greek gods. Typically most Wiccans worship two gods, known as the lord (or father god) and the lady (or mother goddess). 

Personally, I am an Atheist Wiccan. I do not believe in any form of god. Now, you may ask me how am I a Wiccan if I do not believe in a god? It's simple; I worship nature and spirits. Though I do not believe in any sort of deity, I believe in spirits. I worship nature and the spirit of mother nature that runs through everything. Which is why I spend so much time in nature, it brings me peace and if you're aware enough you will witness some amazing things. 

We celebrate the Earth and the circle of life - The Wiccan calander containing all of our holidays is called The Wheel of the Year. Each season and holiday (called a Sabbat) represents a certain phase in the circle of life; many choose to use the god and goddess as representations of this. This is where the goddess or trifecta symbol comes in. 

This symbol not only represents the moon cycle of the waxing, full and waning moon which is oh, so important to us but it is a representation of mother nature's forms in life - the maiden, the mother and the crone. These forms are a representation of the circle of life - birth, life and death. The maiden is young and beautiful though can be naive, the mother is nurturing and the crone is wise. 

Now where does witchcraft fit into this all? It is our way of worship, through ritual. Again, there is no animal sacrifice or flashes of light shooting from our wands. Real magic is quite different. It is energy and intent; you must project the intent and energy into the universe. There are many factors that contribute to a spell's success such as the tools used, the day of the week, even the moon phase. We set altars,  light candles, we chant, we scatter herbs, we light incense. However, you must believe without an ounce of doubt that it will work, or it will not. 

One of my Spell Altars

We trust our intuition and are more in tune to the universe and things that most cannot explain. I completely believe in magic. I have witnessed too many strange happenings in my life to not. 

As there are many different types of witches and paths, there are different ways to worship - as a solitary or with a coven. A solitary is a lone witch who practices on their own; a coven is a group of witches with the same beliefs that worships together. If you are in the right coven, your coven is like your family. I am a leader (with the title of High Priestess) of my coven. Though I did not become serious about the craft until a year ago, I have been a Wiccan for 10 years now. 

With practice of the craft comes different interests or hobbies that can assist with our rituals. Divination is a huge one as well as honing psychic abilities. I am personally a skilled tarot reader, I am knowledgeable of essential oils, and I am very knowledgeable on spirits. Currently I have been studying up to be an herbalist, as well as practicing my scrying skills. Very recently astrology has tugged my interest as well.  Then there is my coven co-leader who is skilled with crystals, knowledgeable on chakra and healing as well as skillful in tarot. One of the best things about a coven is the amount of knowledge you can pass between each other. In my coven, I feel at home. I am among people that understand what I deal with from skeptics and people that fear Pagans. There is also no judgement or negativity. We support each other and we help each other learn.

If you know someone that is a Wiccan or even just Pagan, I urge you to get a (knowledgeable and correct) understanding of their beliefs and support them. It can mean a lot. Even in this day and age I get harassed and judged for my beliefs. I have gotten strange looks for wearing my pentacle in public. Most of my family knows that I'm strange and I do post witch things on my Facebook page, but most do not truly know how into the craft or my faith I am. When I bring up the fact that churches make me uncomfortable it opens up a shitstorm of debate - never mind the fact that I do not believe in a god. My mother has a basic understanding of my beliefs and what I do - she tends to just roll her eyes and ignore what I do. She tends to not care, but I still get the ignorant comments from her asking "What are you doing? Sacrificing a chicken?" every single time she catches me before or after doing a spell. My co-leader of my coven was interrogated by her mother when she "came out of the broom closet" and was asked if she believed in Satan and if she believed in Jesus Christ.

What was my religion before becoming a Wiccan and how did it influence my converting? 

My parents were agnostic - believing in a god but not too religious. As a child, my grandmother's sister's husband (my great uncle) was a pastor at a local church. I went to church with my grandma and to sunday school when I was little. I was in a lot of church plays (there is a picture of me somewhere in a mouse costume singing in one of the plays when I had to have been no older than 7.) and I was put into "Vacation Bible Camp", a church day camp for a few weeks in the summer for a few years. I often would help my great aunt and great uncle out in the food bank, mostly doing organizational work of the pantry. After a while the church had lost its appeal. My grandma would ask me to go to church with her but I found it terribly boring and didn't have much of a want to be involved anymore. 

I was fairly close to my second cousin (mother's cousin's daughter) when I was a child, we are close in age so we played together a lot. At one period of time, we were almost inseparable. Her mother was a very religious Christian, with her beliefs rubbing off on her daughter. So I heard a lot of religious talking. Wanting to spend more time with them, I started going with them to their church. At some point further on, I went to a different Christian day camp with my cousin. This place was the equivalent to what I now would consider hell. It was SUPER Jesus-fied! I wasn't too enthusiastic about going but my parents needed someone to watch me while they worked, so I was enrolled with my cousin. Literally every single thing was religion based from crafts to anything else we did. 

Around that time I began to question my beliefs. What probably really helped me was the falling out I had with my cousin and her mother -when I had a terrifying accident that though I wasn't severely injured left me mentally screwed up for a while. When I stopped spending time with them, so did my exposure to the amount of religious things.

I began to slowly question my beliefs and I stopped believing, becoming an atheist when I hit middle school.

What lead me to the craft and becoming a Wiccan?

It started when I was 13. My memories are a little hazy as to the exact moment I discovered wicca or real witchcraft but somehow I did. I think I learned it from a friend or the internet - again hazy memory. It seemed so alluring and wonderful. Fast forward to the summer of that year. A library in my state not too far from my home town has a book sale every weekend during the summer. I LOVE book sales - I dream of someday having an entire room in a house filled with all sorts of books. My dad and I frequently visited to get some new books and to support the library. I was browsing and I came across a used, slightly worn copy of Scott Cunningham's book Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner. My dad did not approve of the book or really anything relating to witchcraft, but he begrudgingly bought me the book knowing it would make me happy. And it was cheap! Hahaha. 

I flipped through the book and suddenly I knew I wanted to be a part of this awesome religion. Now admittedly I did not so much get into the learning part of it. I did some spells, held steadfast to my beliefs for a while and wore a pentacle but I did not properly study. Once I hit high school I sort of forgot about learning to be a proper witch for a while - but I did still wear my pentacles. I owned three - all three my dad ironically bought for me even though he hated the symbol. One was a little sphere sort of locket type that could hold a crystal or a pompom for essential oils. I kept a green pebble in it. The next being a small silver colored one on a black rope string and the third being a much larger metal, silver colored one from Spencer's. This was all before pentacles were readily available at Hottopic and you had to hunt for one at the local Spencer's or Indie shop. I also wore a Celtic knot a lot, of which my aunt bought for me at a renaissance fair. 

Even if I wasn't a practicing witch any longer, the symbol always gave me peace. When I was having a particularly rough time, I kept it close. I would draw the knot for protection on notebooks, pieces of paper and even my wall for protection. I wore my pentacle on the black rope every single day under my clothing while my dad was dying of cancer. 

Now I always was very interested in the occult and supernatural. I had always wanted a ouija board (oh, silly child) and a tarot deck but (despite his insistence that he was a skeptic) my dad refused to allow such items into his house. I'm not sure when it exactly clicked, but as most of you know I went through a very rough time in 2015. At the beginning of the year I became very, very sick which lead to me having permanent tinnitus. I became wracked with anxiety to the point where I couldn't function. I would barely eat. I could not leave the house, in fear of a panic attack starting and becoming dizzy or passing out from it. I barely slept - at the height of it I went a week sleeping maybe two or three hours a day. I would be up all night with panic attacks, unable to calm them and would slip into my mom's bedroom once she left for work to try to get a little sleep. 

Aside from medication, rediscovering Wicca saved my life. One day I just had the random urge to get back to it. So I began to read up on it more and devouring every single topic that I could. It gave me something to hold onto and give me some sort of hope while I was struggling and losing my mind. I studied intensely for months. I bought a large hardcover journal to use to record my Book of Shadows (a witch's spellbook. The name derived from the fact that witches were forced to hide and practice in the shadows for so long in history. Also referred to as a grimoire. ) and I recorded all sorts of spells and information in it for 8+ hours a day for a month, all handwritten. 

Before I knew it, I had gotten through my anxiety or I was doing better and I had become immersed in the craft. It all felt so good! I found that I was rediscovering myself after all of my breakdowns and panic and Wicca helped me to return to the root of who I am. It allowed me to become more at peace and more myself. It is just one of those feelings where you know what you're doing is so, so right. 

There is so much information, but  I did my best to provide basic knowledge. If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask! 

Xoxo

Heather Zombie

Christmas Ramblings + More Updates?

Hellooooo!!! I just wanted to take the time to wish everyone a very happy holiday season. If you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas. If you celebrate Hanukkah, happy Hanukkah! If it's Kwanzaa you celebrate, happy Kwanzaa. For my fellow Pagans: I hope your Yule was very merry.

I hope that everyone has had a lovely holiday, whatever it is that you may celebrate. I am as always so very thankful for all of the wonderful friends in my life, whom without I would not even be here. Special mentions go out to Vicky (as always, my dear <3), Natasha, Becky, Jeff, Mike, Charlie, Amanda and Cara for being such wonderful friends and always being there to deal with my ups and downs and my strange quirks. You are all very dear to me <3.

My holiday has been pleasant, nothing full of fanfare and spectacularities (is that even a word?), but drama free and calm :). Last night for Christmas eve I got all dolled up to go to my aunt's house in New York (the state, not the city). Every year she has a Christmas party with her family and my uncle's family. Though not exciting (honestly boring, I'm not one to just sit around with nothing to do but socialize) it was nice. The group I traveled with (my mother and grandmother) had to leave much earlier than anticipated though, due to slippery roads tormented by black ice. It was a nerve wracking drive home, but we made it safely! I was a little sad to not spend more time with my cousins who I hardly see, but I wasn't too disappointed to get home. For one; I got to throw off my bra, watch Bob's Burgers and color. But I also didn't have to deal with the depressing part of the evening for me.

The Christmas season typically is really depressing for me and is a very difficult time. Christmas was my dad's favorite holiday and without him it has been really hard. Not just that, but when he was sick with cancer he was sick all during the holidays; being his worse the last two weeks of December and passing away the first week of January. It's like a triple whammy for me - Christmas and New Years without him and his death anniversary on the 4th. It is always difficult for me to see everyone so happy around the holidays and especially happy with their families - because I don't have that anymore. At my aunt's house when everyone gathers around the tree and opens gifts it reminds me of what I lost. Not of the gifts - those I don't care so much about; but the pure bliss of spending Christmas with both of your parents without a care in the world.

This year I was fortunate enough to not fall into my deep black hole of despair that typically consumes me in December. I had fully expected it to, especially with the 5 year anniversary drawing near of losing my dad and of it being five years since he was so sick. I was in a decent head state this year - I think mostly to throwing myself into my work and working on giving generously to my loved ones. I was even listening to Christmas music!

I do tend to get a little despaired towards the end of the holiday, when my mom decides that she has had enough family time and goes into her room to watch tv , leaving myself alone for the evening. Despite that slight lament there, I'm okay. I spent the day with my mom and the cats. We opened gifts when I woke up and we watched movies while we tinkered with our gifts. We also spent time playing with the cats with their new toys. My big chunky kitty, Nina looked like a grizzly bear standing on her hind legs trying to get the mouse on a string toy I was hovering over her. The one part I do really like about our Christmases now is that we just stay in our PJs all day! Hahaha.

As for more updates - hopefully my pretties! I make no promises, BUT I received a new laptop for Christmas. I am hoping that with it I will update more frequently. One of the reasons I scarcely update is difficulty posting from my  tablet and my desktop computer. My old computer is at least 10 years old and constantly freezes, so I was looonggg overdue! I am very happy, now I can work efficiently and work more on my writing!

Anyway, hope you all had a lovely day and a lovely evening. I would ramble some more, but my wine is making me sleepy. Zzzzz

Xoxo

Heather Zombie

Recent Reading

Hi everyone!! Today I'm going to talk about what I've been reading.

 I read a LOT! In fact I read every single day. I have a nightly ritual before bed that consists of classical or ambient music, herbal tea and reading. 

Fan fiction 

I read so much fan fiction, it's rather sad. Sometimes it is needed though to satisfy cravings for more story especially with instances like the Harry Potter series where all of the books have been written and the series has ended. Fanfiction/fanfics/fics are simply fan written stories based upon a certain fandom. 

Attack on Titan Fanfiction 

Since the summer I have been reading tons of fan fiction from this crazed fandom. Of course 99% of it is all totally gay. I read mostly Erwin x Levi fics but I will also read Levi x Eren. There has also been the rare Levi x Petra. A lot of the stories I have read are too embarassing for me to post here for recommend! Hahaha ....oh, the smut! 

Harry Potter Fanfiction 

The Harry Potter fics I read are MUCH tamer compared to the AOT ones. My favorites are ones that pick up from the ending of book 7 (before the epilogue). I also really enjoy "butterfly effect" type ones, where something small in the course of the series is changed in the story and how that affects everything else. 

I am currently reading The Lion's Pride, sequel to The Lion Tamer by James Spookie.

The Lion's Pride - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6554334/1/The-Lion-s-Pride
The Lion Tamer - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6311215/1/The-Lion-Tamer


 It is basically a take on the series where Harry begins dating Daphne Greengrass in his 5th year and how different things are as a result. For those that don't know, Daphne Greengrass is a character the fandom absolutely loves to play with! She is briefly mentioned in The Order of The Phoenix and she is known to be a Slytherin. Her little sister, Astoria Greengrass is married to Draco Malfoy in the epilogue of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Not much is known about Daphne, so fans have fun tinkering with her character. It is a common head-canon (a fan made canon, not actual canon) that Daphne is one of the neutral or good Slytherin - she isn't a death eater and doesn't support them.

 As a Gritherin/Glytherin I fully appreciate this!! Not all Slytherin are evil or cruel. Ie - Horace Slughorn. I say Gritherin/Glytherin because I have been sorted in both Gryffindor and Slytherin by Potter more. When I first joined the website I was sorted into Gryffindor; when they relaunched the website it was required for members to register again - I was then sorted into Slytherin. I am stuck in between - I feel a part of both houses and I have pride for both. I have the courage and kindness of a Gryffindor - I've dealt with a lot in my life. I also have the determination and cunning of a Slytherin. I refuse to give up on my goals and I keep my aspirations high. I will do whatever I need to achieve these goals and I will plot plans in order to make them happen.

 Some of my favorite Harry Potter fanfictions are: 

Recnac Transfaerso by Celebony 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/1399984/1/Recnac-Transfaerso

This fic seems silly to some and it's really angsty/emo...but I absolutely LOVE Harry's characterization in it. He is just the sweetest nugget! In all seriousness this story is about Harry magically extracting cancer from a muggle whom he really cared for and having to take it on himself, with no magical cure. This fanfic really helped me to get over my whole "burst out crying simply at the mention of cancer" type issues. 

Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills by Jocelyn 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/2009130/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Battle-of-Wills

It has been a long time since I've read this one. I don't remember much of what happens, I just really know I enjoyed this one immensely. 

Harry Potter and the Summer After The War by Mrs. Granger 

http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?psid=245803

I wish Mrs. Granger wrote more than 2 in this series. It is so good! As the title says the first fic focuses on the summer after the war. The series takes it from right after the battle of Hogwarts through Harry's first mission as an official auror.

 Antiquity Link by Semprini 

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5238750/1/Harry-Potter-and-the-Antiquity-Link

 I totally recommend any of Semprini's works. They have quite a few series, some being different takes on Harry's life and story while in school, others post- Hogwarts. I really enjoyed this one. Basically Harry becomes sick of everyone and everything, on a whim runs away on a plane and goes to stay in Japan for a while. It's really cool how the author envisioned the difference between English and Japanese wizarding society and culture. Plus Fred is a ghost in this one, which results in occasional hilarity. 

Miss Peregrine Series by Ransom Riggs

 I started reading Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children a year or two ago but it didn't hold my interest, so I moved on. When I saw the trailers for the movie - done by my favorite director, Tim Burton my interest was once again piqued. This summer I gave this book another shot and was pleasantly surprised. Once I got past the dragging and monotonous parts I could not put the book down. Without giving much away it is about a teenage boy named Jacob Portman. He was incredibly close to his paternal grandfather, Abe Portman. Growing up his grandfather would show him pictures of "peculiar" children and tell him all of the stories to accompany them by. Abe was a paranoid man convinced monsters were out to kill him. Upon his death under mysterious circumstances Jacob thinks he saw a monster kill him and he finds a last message from his grandfather. So he travels to the island that his grandfather grew up on in order to piece together the fragments of the past. 

I am now starting book 2, Hollow City. I have literally read 1 page so I cannot report back on it quite yet. 

Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them Original Screenplay by J. K Rowling 

I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan, I will read anything my goddess and savior J.K Rowling writes in the wizarding world. I was going to wait to read this until I could see the movie, but I do not anticipate that happening any time soon so I dug in. I'm not far into this book yet, but the format is similar to The Cursed Child. I am really enjoying the story so far! Niffler is precious and I'm awaiting to see more than a glimpse of the Bowtruckle. I really like Newt so far too. Fun fact - even as a die hard fan that has read every book over 20 times a piece, until recently I was misreading Newt's last name as SCHMANDER, not Scamander as it actually is. Anyone else have moments like that with literature? 

I remember as a child reading the first two books before the movies ever came out I misread quite a few words! Severus Snape was Serverus Snape, Diagon Alley was Dragon Alley, Privet Drive was Private Drive, Prefect was Perfect, Karkaroff was Karakoff. What was wrong with my brain back then?? Bonus, I would pronounce Hermione as Her-Me-Own until the movies came out and Sirius as Sir-Eye-Us. LOL 

Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas

 This is a series that Vicky and myself discovered while browsing the library; we were hoping to find a good fantasy series that we could both read and discuss. Honestly, we couldn't have made a better choice. It is like Game of Thrones mixed with The Hunger Games. The story follows Celaena Sardothien (Sell-Aye-Nah Sar-Doth-Ee-En Yay for me pronouncing it correctly in my mind while reading!), she is a famous assassin imprisoned in a work mine. Miraculously she has lived longer than any other prisoner there. One day the crowned prince of Adarlan, Dorian Havilliard pulls her from the mines - he announces that she is to be his champion in a tournament to become the king's assassin. If she competes and wins then she will earn her freedom after 7 years of service. Of course, this isn't an offer she can refuse. Despite her contempt for the kingdom and its corrupt king she goes along and vows to win so that she may finally be free. But all is not easy! All of her competitors are men and brutal assassins at that, plus something is mysteriously killing the other competitors. 

I am currently on book 3, Heir of Fire.

 I LOVE this series. Celaena is such a badass; not just that but she's tough and intelligent too. She can get down and dirty but she is also very feminine and adores beautiful clothing. There is magic in the series from sort-of unexpected places; the series is filled with so many twists and turns. There is romance and I admit a rather silly love triangle - but the love triangle isn't the focus of the story; Celaena is. I totally recommend reading this. Don't let the YA categorization fool you! 

Attack on Titan Manga

 If you follow me then you most likely know about the incredibly popular anime; possibly the most popular anime in the world with the most cracked out fanbase. I have such an intense love for Levi as well as a huge craving to find out what happens after season 1 leaves off. I am currently on volume 14 (roughly chapter 55/56). The manga is really good and I am so enthralled my the story and the shitstorm the characters find themselves in.

 Astrology

 I am always researching something. I love to research topics of interest; I love enriching my mind. As of late Astrology has been particularly interesting to me, so I have read a few books on it as well as some online research. 

Poe Short Stories 

In October I was in my usual spooky mood so I read some of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories in the scariest place - the laundromat. All kidding aside, the bathroom at my local laundromat is fucking terrifying. I had to venture in there to get paper towels once.....never again O_____O. I have a dislike for public restrooms to begin with, I would literally weep if I were forced to use that particular facility. I love the master of macabre; I find that no one quite write such hauntingly beautiful pieces of literature quite like him. My favorite story of his is The Masque of Red Death. 

Fun fact - in high school for an English final we had to do a presentation with a certain chosen medium and pretend that we were the main character from a story we read that year. Me being the eccentric person I am, not even thinking chose The Cask of Amontillado and I had to present songs that could fit the story as Montresor. That paired with a multitude of metal music was in poor choice, I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was nuts. My teacher was giving me the strangest looks and some of my fellow students looked scared. It probably didn't help that when I was done I walked up to a kid that was laughing at me through my presentation and screamed in his face. 

If you want to see what I've read or keep up with my reading, follow me on Goodreads. Seriously, guys pleaaseee join me. I would love to have more friends to follow on there! 

https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/47607256-heather-zombie 

Xoxo Heather Zombie

Steven Universe: The Darker and Adult Meanings

Today I will be discussing the Cartoon Network series, Steven Universe. It has been picking up in popularity thanks to the internet, it does my heart good. Steven Universe is about a boy named Steven and his family - a group of female aliens with special powers called The Crystal Gems. Their aim is to protect Earth from their home world and other various threats. Steven's mother, Rose Quartz was the leader of the Crystal Gems; she gave up her physical form in order to bring Steven into the world. Steven is half gem, half human. Luckily he still has his ex-rocker father Greg who lives in his van. Steven must learn about his powers and his mother's legacy in order to take her place. We find that he takes care of his adoptive mothers of sorts as much as they take care of him. 

At Connecticon I attended a very informative panel analyzing the LGBTQ aspects of Steven Universe, many I had never picked up on. Since returning from con I have been paying closer attention to the metaphors and hidden things within the show and I have picked up on so many more. Steven Universe is surprisingly deep! In this post I will be sharing my findings as well as some aspects I learned from the panel. 

Not only is Steven Universe an awesome show, but it's revolutionary. It has feminism, showing that being gay is OK, it has so much realness for a show that is such a fantasy. It is not merely a kids show, though being suitable for children; they just won't pick up on any adult themes. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend it. It draws much influence from anime, especially the magical girl genre. I feel so proud to live in an era where a show like this can grace our TV screens. Growing up in the 90s we couldn't have Haruka and Michuru on Sailor Moon be the beautiful couple they are, we grew up knowing them as creepily close cousins. What sad times. 

Anyway, these are the things that I have uncovered. There are spoilers for the show, but mostly for the first two seasons. I very briefly touch upon season 3, but I haven't had the time yet to really go in depth analyzing it and I am not caught up with season 4 yet. If you enjoy this post please comment and let me know, I'll start a part 2! I have literally spent months working on this single post which is why I haven't posted in a while. 

Fusion = Sex

Fusion is a huuugeee metaphor for sex. What is fusion? The combination of two gems, becoming one and resulting in something new and beautiful. Sound familiar? Fusion is also very intimate - the two gems fusing need to be in sync and they go about a dance until they form a whole new gem; not unlike the act of sex and having a baby. This is a reason why fusion causes a bit of a rift between Greg Universe (Steven's dad) and Rose Quartz (Steven's mom). Greg cannot fuse with Rose because he isn't a gem, therefore he cannot be that intimate with her. This may also be a metaphor for infertility - since Greg cannot fuse with her in that way they cannot form a new gem. However, they do find a way to work around that - literal sex bringing Steven into the world. 

Garnet is a big metaphor for gay sex and the sacredness of sex. Ruby and Sapphire become Garnet; they were taught that it is wrong for two different gems to fuse - ie biggots' view of same sex relations being wrong (idiots). But once they fused they discover how beautiful it is and how much they love each other - so much that they never want to separate. It is canon that Garnet is a relationship. A beautiful one at that. Garnet's views on fusion explains why she was so excited when Steven and Connie fused into Stevonnie. As long as the fusion isn't toxic, Garnet is supportive. In turn you could say she supports relationships and love as long as it isn't toxic. 

On the show Garnet also serves as a metaphor for being closeted. For the majority of the first season we, the viewers as well as Steven don't know that Garnet is a fusion. Garnet keeps it hidden because of the stigma with different gem fusion and she is afraid of how those she loves (Steven) will reach towards the news. Sound familiar? But Garnet did not need to fear; Steven accepted her and was even excited to learn who she truly was. I love that Steven Universe does this to support the LGBTQ community. 

Rape & Consent

The gem piece fusions that eventually form the cluster in season 2 is a huge metaphor for rape and consent. They are pieces of departed gems forced to fuse together against their will; this angers Garnet. She even mentions how atrocious it is for gems to be forced to fuse against their free will.  Even worse, these poor gems were smashed and forced to fuse together as punishment for the  rebellion. This can be taken as a metaphor for rape and how it isn't OK. And how consent is important. As a rape and molestation victim myself, I feel that this is so, so important and I cannot thank Rebecca Sugar (the show's creator) enough. 

Another example of a metaphor for consent is the episode  "Alone Together" where we first meet Stevonnie. When Stevonnie is at the rave, Kevin tries to force them to dance with him. Dancing is a very important and intimate aspect of fusion - each crystal gem pair dances to fuse. Kevin walks over to Stevonnie and begins to dance, making Stevonnie uncomfortable. Stevonnie walks away and speaks to themselves "I don't understand what's wrong. You have fun dancing but this dance isn't fun. You're supposed to like this, why don't you like this?" - what does this sound like? Someone having sex and suddenly finding it wrong and unappealing. Kevin follows Stevonnie and Stevonnie declares that they don't want to dance anymore - like saying you don't want to have sex anymore; revoking your consent.  Because it is completely justified and your right to revoke your consent at any time!

In the episode "Beach City Drift" the event is touched upon again. Connie and Steven tell Greg about what happened. Connie states "He kept asking us to dance with him, even though we said no. It was really uncomfortable" and Steven proclaims "He didn't even care how we felt at all". Think they're making a bigger deal out of it than they should? BAM consent metaphor! 

Anxiety

Anxiety is also depicted in the episode "Alone Together" when Stevonnie is dancing by themselves. They discover everyone staring at them and begin to have a panic attack including symptoms such as sweating, rapid and fast speech, heavy, fast breathing. We see an animation if everything closing in tightly upon Stevonnie - this is exactly what anxiety feels like. 

Lapis Lazuli:  Abuse Victim 

Lapis is a clear cut victim of abuse. In turn, she displays the signs and effects of a toxic, abusive relationship. Lapis is brought to Earth, far from her home only to be trapped in a mirror and her gem cracked. She is forced into seclusion and injured. 

Then Lapis is forced to fuse with Jasper to create malachite. She is forced to stay in this fusion/relationship and endure abuse from Jasper. When Lapis disobeys Jasper, things get physical. 

Abusers will do all they can to isolate their victims - to keep them away from their friends and family. They turn their loved ones against them, like how Jasper reminded Lapis of how the gems trapped her on earth and tried to use her.  They will build up their self esteem to only tear it back down. Jasper does this to the point where Lapis blamed herself for the abuse - a thing most victims do. 

At the beginning of Season 3, the gems rescue Lapis. In the episode "Same Old World" we see the lasting effects of the trauma that the relationship caused. Lapis shows signs of PTSD. She wants to fly far away and get away from the place that reminds her of those painful times. She discovers that she can't really escape it. Her and Steven go for a fly and she sees the ocean and galaxy warp; she becomes consumed by the memories so much that she nearly drops Steven into the ocean. Throughout season 3 we see her deal with this trauma.

In the episode "Alone At Sea" Steven brings Lapis on a boat that Greg rents. Lapis admits that she misses Jasper, that they were together for so long. This is a thing that domestic abuse victims go through. Then Jasper reappears and tries to get Lapis back. First she puts Lapis down; telling her that she's a monster and how everything is her fault to Jasper claiming that she was wrong and that she had changed. Lapis sees through this now that she is detached from the situation and stands up for herself, saying "What we had wasn't healthy. I don't ever want to feel like what I felt with you. Never again." 

Even though Lapis was abused, the purpose of this trait for her is to show her strength. She survived it and she keeps going despite all of the trauma it caused. We see her gain back her power as she develops as a character and it is so important. Victims of abuse aren't just victims for the rest of their lives. They aren't weak or susceptible.  Showing that women and men that go through abuse are stronger than you think. 

Pearl: Mental Abuse Victim 

While Lapis represents a physical abuse victim, Pearl represents a mental/emotional abuse victim. Many people don't know about mental abuse; it can leave scars as badly as physical abuse can. It's just that those scars aren't visible. On home world, Pearls are seen as slaves, objects that are supposed to just stand and look pretty. Pearl was different though and she escaped; she became strong and able to stand up for herself. But she is constantly reminded of what she "should" be by enemies; and she is reminded of the labels and taunts gems have thrown at her - they left a mark. She starts to believe that she is weak. Then Peridot comes along and is always throwing around those abusive insults that Pearl has heard probably a thousand times not only from others but from herself as well. It may not seem like abuse to most people, but think about it. Think about if every single easy, multiple times a day someone were to start telling you how useless you are and how inferior you are. That can royally fuck someone up and have huge lasting damage. 

I have experienced mental abuse a lot in my life. No, I'm not talking about bullying. From family and even in a relationship where the person was supposed to love me; treating me like an object, like I'm nothing and uttering some really damaging things. I am still struggling to cope with the weight of it. Mental abuse is such an important topic and I'm really happy that SU deals with it. 

Pearl Has PTSD

Another thing I am sadly familiar with - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Pearl lives in the past for a lot of the show. It has been confirmed that Rose Quartz was Pearl's lover. Pearl loved her with all that she had and lived purely for Rose. Rose was her savior, her everything. Which is why Rose losing her physical form (aka Rose's death) made such a damaging and huge impact upon her. She seems to get flashbacks - often mistaking Steven for Rose. When she speaks of the rebellion and how she fought with Rose she seems to get caught in flashbacks and sometimes unaware of what is truly happening. She never fully got over her death. She had to learn to live for herself and she lost the one encouraging person that loved her for who she was. 

In the episode "Sworn the the Sword" we see Pearl caught up in her flashbacks of Rose; several times she confuses Rose with Steven. In the song "Do It For Her" she sings "You'd do it for him, and you would do it again. You'd do it for her that is to say you'd do it for him." She forces what her experience and relationship with Rose upon Connie and Steven.  She repetitively tells Connie that she is nothing, because Pearl felt she was nothing compared to Rose; that her life didn't have meaning. When Steven has a problem with the things she feeds into Connie's brain, Pearl has an outburst saying "Why won't you just let me do this for you Rose?!" 

Loss and Grief

This again refers to losing Rose. It is a major theme of the show. Steven grieves for the mother he never met and struggles with her legacy and with the Crystal Gems' comparisons between him and Rose. He strives hard to just feel close to her and seems to have mixed emotions on her. Greg also sort of lives in the past, still grieving the loss of his "wife". He still lives in his van which he toured in while he was a one man band; which is also how he met Rose. He also has a storage unit with so many things within it that he seems to have trouble parting with. Perhaps a lot of it reminds him of Rose? He reminisces about her as lot to his son and shows him videos with her on it. I noticed on the episode "We Need To Talk"  where Greg shows Steven and Connie the tape of Greg's music video with Rose, where Rose and Pearl fuse into Rainbow Quartz; that Greg had already had the tape in his VCR. Could it be he watches the videos often to see his departed love? 

There is of course Pearl - who was in love with Rose as previously mentioned and Amethyst who seemed to see Rose as a big sister type figure. Both Pearl and Amethyst blame Greg amidst their grief for their loss. In the episode "Maximum Capacity" where Amethyst helps Greg clean out his storage unit we witness an explosion of emotion from her on how Rose was always there for her until Greg came along. 

In the episode "Rose's Scabbard" Pearl practically has a breakdown over her memories of Rose and her missing her. She declares "Everything I did, I did for her. And now she's gone, but I'm still here". 

Sex/Relationship Because of Someone Else 

In the episode "Beach City Drift" in season 3 Connie and Steven decide to fuse into Stevonnie so that they can race Kevin to get revenge upon him for hurting them. It's sort of like when people date someone else to get back at their ex. In the end Steven and Connie realize how they fused because of Kevin - they got together because of their hatred for Kevin and how wrong that is. That they should only fuse , should only be together for themselves. As mentioned before, fusion is sacred. 

This also happens with Sugulite in the episode "Cry For Help" in season 2 when Garnet is so upset at Pearl for what she did she angrily commands Amethyst to fuse with her and says "Let's just get this over with . This fusion was formed because of rage. 

Toxic relationships

There are a few examples of toxic relationships in the show. One being Sugulite, another being Malachite. Sugulite is the fusion between Garnet and Amethyst. When they fuse, it is a bad combination. They become too rash and rough - which is toxic. This can also be a metaphor for rough or abusive sex - Garnet doesn't like fusing into Sugulite because they get carried away and get too rough. Hmmm...now does that sound like an innuendo? 

As previously mentioned with Lapis, she is forced to fuse with Jasper to control her and keep Jasper from destroying earth. Jasper is abusive to begin with, then Lapis is forced to spend months trapped in this fusion; this relationship dealing with all types of abuse from Jasper. This is a very toxic relationship. 

Sardonyx in a way becomes a toxic relationship too. Pearl and Garnet fuse to form Sardonyx. Sardonyx's first appearance is when Peridot uses a transmition tower to try to relay a message to Yellow Diamond and home world. Pearl loves the feeling of being Sardonyx - of feeling whole and good. One could take this as she loves the sex between her and Garnet. Pearl takes things further by pretending that Peridot was wreaking havok, trying to relay a message again just so that she could fuse with Garnet. It happens a few times before Steven and Amethyst catch her. This is metaphorically a partner or an ex partner manipulating someone into sex. Which is why Garnet was so upset over this manipulation; since we know her feelings on fusion. 

And Amethyst ties this all together. Though in this case she isn't toxic. Amethyst feels down, even depressed when Pearl and Garnet have started to fuse; instead of Garnet fusing with her. This is a metaphor for an ex when their former partner finds a new one. She is jealous that Garnet will not fuse with her anymore. Furthermore, Garnet compares Amethyst to Pearl a lot. She asks her why she cannot be more like Pearl which seems to greatly pain Amethyst and makes her feel inferior. 

Amethyst, Child From Rape Or Mentally Impaired

Yes. I know this sounds terrible and out there but please bare with me. Amethyst was born at the Kindergarten, a very dark and terrible place where Gems are made. Amethyst came from one on earth. The purpose of these Kindergartens were to mass manufacture Gems to use as soldiers against the rebels; which was destroying the earth and life on it. At these Kindergartens the homeworld gems didn't even seem to care about the gems, often reffering to them as "subpar" because they were rushed into creation. Peridot refers to Amethyst as a "defective" gem. This is also where the fusions for the cluster are held. Amethyst could be a metaphor for a child born of rape. Why? 

Amethyst seems to feel alienated for who she is and where she came from. She hears her friends speak of how terrible Kindergarten is and feels she is being associated with it. Like how if a woman has a child after being raped - this child is a reminder and associated with the terrible ordeal. It also ties into how children born of that situation must feel. 

Amethyst also can be a metaphor for mentally impaired children. She is treated differently and like something is wrong with her. Plus, factor in the comments from Peridot about her being defective and the while "subpar" gems thing. She isn't up to society's standards and is left behind in the Kindergarten. In all honesty nothing is wrong with her, she is just different from others and society doesn't understand her. 

Sexism - Pearl vs Peridot

When Peridot first joins the Crystal Gems after betraying Yellow Diamond, there is a "Pearl vs. Peridot" dynamic. Peridot is downright nasty to Pearl. She plays the role of a sexist, misogynistic man. She laughs at Pearl for being different than stereotypical, societal expected Pearls. She treats her as inferior - blatantly stating that "a Pearl" which is supposed to just stand and look pretty can do what she can do. In other words, this is a classic case of the idiotic men that still believe women to be inferior objects that belong in kitchens. In true SU style, Pearl proves that she is just as good as Peridot - when she builds a robot to fight Peridot's robot. Even though Peridot's robot won the battle, she lost in the end. Everyone congratulated Pearl; no one respected Peridot because of her "sexist" comments and discrimination. 

Peridot the Homophobe

Yes, surprise surprise another terrible thing from Peridot before she changed. Peridot played the role of the biggoted homophobe. She was very vocal about how she viewed Garnet's fusion as wrong and disgusting. She went as far as declaring her discomfort and insist that Garnet unfuse while in her presence. This is like when a homophobe can't deal with a beautiful gay relationship or a gay couple displaying affection in front of them. Though, luckily Peridot came around and now seems to have a thing for Lapis! This can also be a representation of the closeted jock; or similar closeted individual. Where they vocally act against gay people but secretly are gay and afraid to come out. It's a lot more common than you think, people!

Gender Fluidity

Steven Universe is all about gender fluidity and acceptance! Even though all of the Crystal Gems, save for Steven are female. Stevonnie is a large example of this - when fused Stevonnie can be either gender; because Stevonnie is a boy and a girl at the same time. Stevonnie can also physically look like a boy or girl; he/she is also perceived as beautiful by everyone he/she meets! No one comments or asks Stevonnie's gender, they all appreciate his/her beauty. 

Another example is the Beach Party episode where Sadie is going to sing on stage in front of everyone as a mystery guest - but Steven and her own mother overtake it completely and she doesn't want to do it anymore. Someone must go on stage so Steven does! He sings the "girly" pop song (which happens to be sung by Marceline from Adventure Time's voice actress, Olivia Olsen), complete with Sadie's routine and chosen outfit - a crop top and skirt. He is even wearing heels and makeup.  And it is not a problem! Unlike our society, no one makes a comment or judges him.  They don't even bat an eye, treating it as completely normal.

There is also the episode where Amethyst, who is female shifts into a buff, manly appearing wrestler to participate in the Beach City wrestling. Amethyst can shift into anyone or anything, regardless of gender. 

Lots of Gay 

There is literally so much gayness in Steven Universe....and it is all so beautiful! Besides Garnet, there are different characters that represent different types of relationships, especially within the LGBT community. With this point, I will discuss a few topics covered in the panel I attended. 

Stevonnie is a representation of how gay people feel when coming out. Even though he/she is in a room full of people, he/she feels alone. He/she feels out of place, uncomfortable with themselves and awkward. He/she also attracts attention 

Polyamory is explored in Steven Universe as well. Polyamory is where there is a relationship with more than one person. It has been confirmed that Rose was with both Pearl and Greg at the same time - which is why Pearl was so jealous of Greg. Rose had separate romantic relationships with both of them. It would be all fine and dandy if they all were alright with it. I am unsure if Greg knew the extend of Pearl and Rose's relationship. Pearl didn't like Greg and wasn't happy about their relationship - but she put up with it because of her love for Rose. In a way, this was a toxic relationship for Pearl. 

Feminism

This is a HUGE theme of Steven Universe! It has such a powerful message of feminism. To start with - every gem but Steven is female. And they are pretty badass! It does a tremendous job of showing that women can fight and protect themselves. One such example is Connie learning to sword fight so that she can protect Steven. Not only that - Connie is an extremely intelligent young lady. She reads books reminiscent of The Hunger Games and Throne of Glass instead of Twilight. Every female character has multiple dimensions and their quirks. I love that they aren't the stereotypical gender role of female. Jenny for example - a popular girl listens to rock and metal. Then there's Pearl - she struggles with her "gender stereotype" or being compared to a stereotypical Pearl - a weak gem that's just there to look pretty. Sure she is pretty, but she has emotion; she can fight, she is intelligent, caring and strong. 

Kindness to Your Enemy

Alright, this isn't an adult theme but I wanted to point it out. This is a theme commonly seen in Sailor Moon. The senshi fight the enemy and try to make friends with them. This often happens in Steven Universe as well.  Peridot went from enemy to friend, the gems taking her in when she had nowhere to go. Though Lapis was technically an enemy, Steven was compelled to help her and she was turned towards friendship with the gems. A few times while fighting Peridot Steven would say kind things to her such as "Have a good weekend!". 

All of these lessons, metaphors, themes and so much more is why I love Steven Universe. It is a ground breaking and unique show that we need in this day and age. I have never seen such a progressive show. 

There you have it! I worked very hard on my theories to give them enough explanation and proof. Any metaphors I missed? Comment below and let me know. What is your favorite thing about Steven Universe?? 

Xoxo,
Heather Zombie💜  

Things I've learned from my first convention

About a month ago, I attended my first ever convention, Connecticon to hear about all of my blunders and adventures, check out my previous post. I learned so much during my weekend away in Hartford, some ste things people don't even really warn you about. So here are some of the things that I learned!

Make sure your videos are recorded with sound

I recorded a lot of videos throughout the convention of panels and events on my phone. Unfortunately none of them had sound!!! This was a huge disappointment for me.

 Plan!

Plan everything out! From what time you'll wake up, when you need to get to the convention. How long it will take you to get your costume on, even how long you think your morning crap will take. Planning is very important, it will keep you from being rushed and will keep you from stressing. I was rushed both Friday asnd Saturday having not budgeted a better amount of time to get ready.

Don't be shy about asking for pictures

I was very shy the first day...there is no need to be! Just about everyone wants you to take pictures of their costume! Just about everyone I encountered was excited and glad that I asked. Plus, it felt amazing when a few people excitedly stopped me for pictures or recognized who I was supposed to be.

Ask permission to take picture

Don't just snap someone's picture - it is rude. I made the mistake of taking a picture of something in the dealer room and forgot to ask permission beforehand. I felt terrible about it!!!

Bring plenty of money

THIS! I had maybe $50 to spend in the dealer room for the entire weekend. There were so many things I wanted but didn't have the money to buy. Many vendors also tend to be overpriced. Plan and budget months ahead of the convention you will attend. Don't ask your parent(s) to borrow money two weeks before like I did.

Look at everything before buying

There are so many things! It is thee worst to have spent all of your money and therm find something you really want. Some vendors also have markdowns on the very last day.

Buy things you want badly on the first day

Most things, especially artwork will sell out fast. So anything you know you definitely want, buy it as soon as you see it.

Bring plenty of food and water

To the convention and your hotel room. Room service, takeout and even hotel restaurants are really expensive! If you bring your own snacks and meals you'll save a lot of money. Whenever I'm at a big event, I often forget to eat and don't eat most of the day. If you're like me, pack some granola bars or something. I packed granola bars and fruit rollups in my backpack each day and it really was a lifesaver. Pack plenty of water, water at conventions is expensive. Luckily there were water coolers to refill my bottles in the conference rooms

There is a sense of community

I never suspected the sense of community I would feel - both at the convention and even at the hotel. It was amazing! As someone with social anxiety I have a hard time with crowds and I have s difficult time talking to strangers. I found myself talking to random people as lot. Everyone was really cool, I didn't encounter a single asshole! People of all different sizes, races, genders and sexuality were there cosplaying. No one judged them! There were no rude stares or comments. Everyone was peaceful and mostly kind to one another.

You will get no sleep

Something else I didn't anticipate - you will not get any sleep during a convention. Typically convention centers stay open late and have events into the night. By the time you head back to the hotel you most likely need a shower and need to eat. You also will be too wound up from the excitement of the day to sleep. Be prepared to stay up late each night and wake up early in the morning so that you have ample time to get ready before leaving. As much as I loved it, I was ready for con to be over by mid-day Saturday so I could go home and sleep.

You most likely will have a sore throat by the end

You may lose your voice or upset your throat during a con, especially if you ate cheering at events. My throat was very sore from the strain of yelling and screaming at the Cosplay Death Match. It wasn't comfortable by any means, and it didn't heal for nearly a week.

You will feel like shit after the con

Oh yes, you will feel horrible after a convention. There is the possibility you may catch a cold, being around so many people with possible questionable hygiene. Luckily, I didn't! You will be thoroughly exhausted by the end of the last day, and you probably won't eat a decent or healthy meal all weekend. You will be sore from all of the walking and whatever activities you get up to.

Bring ear plugs

Ear plugs are important, I wish I had thought to bring some with me. If you're at a loud event you need to protect your hearing. My friend who doesn't have any ear problems like me even had to plug his ears.

Aches galore!

At the end of each day you will ache. My feet didn't bother me so much, but my back and legs sure were sore. I was wise enough to bring some pain relief cream to help with it. It made a huge difference!

Don't be afraid to talk to people

A lot of people are just as shy or anxious as you may be. I have social anxiety and I was afraid to even approach and ask for pictures, but don't be. Everyone is really nice and people will start spontaneous conversations. Remember, everyone is just like you. They're all wonderful, geeky fanboys and fangirls.

You will eat like shit

You will eat like shit, most likely. Hotel room service and even hotel restaurants are very expensive. The Hilton's restaurant charged $20 for an all you can eat breakfast! You will most likely be eating fast food or takeout. If your convention center has as cafeteria, you most likely won't be finding healthy choices there.

Leave all the  drama at home

As much fun as I had, drama ruined a lot of my con. Don't start drama. Don't bring problematic or drama starting people with you. You want only positive, loving smd supportive people in your convention group. So when in doubt, don't bring the person.

I hope this helped any first time convention goers and that you can learn from this! I know that next year I will be much more prepared.

Xoxo

Heather Zombie