Tuesday, December 27, 2016

Wicca and Real Witches

As many of you know, I am a Wiccan and I identify as a witch; but most people have no idea what this means. There are so many stereotypes, false information and fears associated with witchcraft and Wicca that I constantly feel the need to clear it up. It has grown even worse with the so called "fluffy bunny" witches who are into it just because it seems cool to. Those types of "witches" can be easily weeded out.



So what is a witch? A person that practices witchcraft. Yes, witchcraft is real, but not in the way one would assume. What is a Wiccan? A practitioner of the religion of Wicca. Wicca is a Pagan religion; Paganism is a sort of umbrella term for polytheist (the worship of many gods) religions that worship nature. All Wiccans are Pagans, but not all Pagans are Wiccan. Paganism is "the old religion" , it is possibly the oldest existing religion dating back to the ancient druids, even further.

Not all Witches are Pagan and some Wiccans I am sure do not practice witchcraft. But the majority of us do, it is a huge part of our religion and our lives.



One major misunderstanding is that Wiccans worship Satan. We do not! In fact, Wiccans are the most peaceful group of people. We hang out it in forests and nature (and yes, some of us choose to go skyclad or nude). We live by a code or a guideline called the Wiccan Rede, which states "If it harm ye none, do as ye will."; it means we can do or believe whatever we want as long as it harms no one. We believe in the laws of karma, that anything negative we do will return to us threefold or three times as worse. We do not sacrifice chickens or harm animals, life is sacred to us. I have been known to silently pray for roadkill I come across; if I find a dead mouse outside or within my home, I will bury it with care and say a blessing for it.


Much like the Christian cross,the pentacle is our religious symbol. There are so many misconceptions about pentacles and pentagrams. This symbol is not evil! The Satanic symbol people mistake the pentagram for is called the Baphomet. There is nothing negative about the pentagram. 


A pentagram is the star without a surrounding circle, a pentacle has the circle around it. The Pentacle/Pentagram is a representation of the five elements - Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit. These elements are the basis of the earth and really life itself. 

Wicca as we know it today was founded by a man named Gerald Gardner. There is much debate among our community on this man and his methods. Personally I believe he was exploiting the religion to have sex with lots of women; but that is neither here nor there. What is beautiful about Wicca is there are no set rules as to what you have to believe in. You are free to believe in and worship as you wish! You can actually choose which group of gods you wish to worship - this even includes Norse, Celtic, Egyption and Greek gods. Typically most Wiccans worship two gods, known as the lord (or father god) and the lady (or mother goddess). 

Personally, I am an Atheist Wiccan. I do not believe in any form of god. Now, you may ask me how am I a Wiccan if I do not believe in a god? It's simple; I worship nature and spirits. Though I do not believe in any sort of deity, I believe in spirits. I worship nature and the spirit of mother nature that runs through everything. Which is why I spend so much time in nature, it brings me peace and if you're aware enough you will witness some amazing things. 



We celebrate the Earth and the circle of life - The Wiccan calander containing all of our holidays is called The Wheel of the Year. Each season and holiday (called a Sabbat) represents a certain phase in the circle of life; many choose to use the god and goddess as representations of this. This is where the goddess or trifecta symbol comes in. 


This symbol not only represents the moon cycle of the waxing, full and waning moon which is oh, so important to us but it is a representation of mother nature's forms in life - the maiden, the mother and the crone. These forms are a representation of the circle of life - birth, life and death. The maiden is young and beautiful though can be naive, the mother is nurturing and the crone is wise. 

Now where does witchcraft fit into this all? It is our way of worship, through ritual. Again, there is no animal sacrifice or flashes of light shooting from our wands. Real magic is quite different. It is energy and intent; you must project the intent and energy into the universe. There are many factors that contribute to a spell's success such as the tools used, the day of the week, even the moon phase. We set altars,  light candles, we chant, we scatter herbs, we light incense. However, you must believe without an ounce of doubt that it will work, or it will not. 

One of my Spell Altars


We trust our intuition and are more in tune to the universe and things that most cannot explain. I completely believe in magic. I have witnessed too many strange happenings in my life to not. 

As there are many different types of witches and paths, there are different ways to worship - as a solitary or with a coven. A solitary is a lone witch who practices on their own; a coven is a group of witches with the same beliefs that worships together. If you are in the right coven, your coven is like your family. I am a leader (with the title of High Priestess) of my coven. Though I did not become serious about the craft until a year ago, I have been a Wiccan for 10 years now. 

With practice of the craft comes different interests or hobbies that can assist with our rituals. Divination is a huge one as well as honing psychic abilities. I am personally a skilled tarot reader, I am knowledgeable of essential oils, and I am very knowledgeable on spirits. Currently I have been studying up to be an herbalist, as well as practicing my scrying skills. Very recently astrology has tugged my interest as well.  Then there is my coven co-leader who is skilled with crystals, knowledgeable on chakra and healing as well as skillful in tarot. One of the best things about a coven is the amount of knowledge you can pass between each other. In my coven, I feel at home. I am among people that understand what I deal with from skeptics and people that fear Pagans. There is also no judgement or negativity. We support each other and we help each other learn.

If you know someone that is a Wiccan or even just Pagan, I urge you to get a (knowledgeable and correct) understanding of their beliefs and support them. It can mean a lot. Even in this day and age I get harassed and judged for my beliefs. I have gotten strange looks for wearing my pentacle in public. Most of my family knows that I'm strange and I do post witch things on my Facebook page, but most do not truly know how into the craft or my faith I am. When I bring up the fact that churches make me uncomfortable it opens up a shitstorm of debate - never mind the fact that I do not believe in a god. My mother has a basic understanding of my beliefs and what I do - she tends to just roll her eyes and ignore what I do. She tends to not care, but I still get the ignorant comments from her asking "What are you doing? Sacrificing a chicken?" every single time she catches me before or after doing a spell. My co-leader of my coven was interrogated by her mother when she "came out of the broom closet" and was asked if she believed in Satan and if she believed in Jesus Christ.


What was my religion before becoming a Wiccan and how did it influence my converting? 

My parents were agnostic - believing in a god but not too religious. As a child, my grandmother's sister's husband (my great uncle) was a pastor at a local church. I went to church with my grandma and to sunday school when I was little. I was in a lot of church plays (there is a picture of me somewhere in a mouse costume singing in one of the plays when I had to have been no older than 7.) and I was put into "Vacation Bible Camp", a church day camp for a few weeks in the summer for a few years. I often would help my great aunt and great uncle out in the food bank, mostly doing organizational work of the pantry. After a while the church had lost its appeal. My grandma would ask me to go to church with her but I found it terribly boring and didn't have much of a want to be involved anymore. 

I was fairly close to my second cousin (mother's cousin's daughter) when I was a child, we are close in age so we played together a lot. At one period of time, we were almost inseparable. Her mother was a very religious Christian, with her beliefs rubbing off on her daughter. So I heard a lot of religious talking. Wanting to spend more time with them, I started going with them to their church. At some point further on, I went to a different Christian day camp with my cousin. This place was the equivalent to what I now would consider hell. It was SUPER Jesus-fied! I wasn't too enthusiastic about going but my parents needed someone to watch me while they worked, so I was enrolled with my cousin. Literally every single thing was religion based from crafts to anything else we did. 

Around that time I began to question my beliefs. What probably really helped me was the falling out I had with my cousin and her mother -when I had a terrifying accident that though I wasn't severely injured left me mentally screwed up for a while. When I stopped spending time with them, so did my exposure to the amount of religious things.

I began to slowly question my beliefs and I stopped believing, becoming an atheist when I hit middle school.


What lead me to the craft and becoming a Wiccan?

It started when I was 13. My memories are a little hazy as to the exact moment I discovered wicca or real witchcraft but somehow I did. I think I learned it from a friend or the internet - again hazy memory. It seemed so alluring and wonderful. Fast forward to the summer of that year. A library in my state not too far from my home town has a book sale every weekend during the summer. I LOVE book sales - I dream of someday having an entire room in a house filled with all sorts of books. My dad and I frequently visited to get some new books and to support the library. I was browsing and I came across a used, slightly worn copy of Scott Cunningham's book Wicca for the Solitary Practitioner. My dad did not approve of the book or really anything relating to witchcraft, but he begrudgingly bought me the book knowing it would make me happy. And it was cheap! Hahaha. 

I flipped through the book and suddenly I knew I wanted to be a part of this awesome religion. Now admittedly I did not so much get into the learning part of it. I did some spells, held steadfast to my beliefs for a while and wore a pentacle but I did not properly study. Once I hit high school I sort of forgot about learning to be a proper witch for a while - but I did still wear my pentacles. I owned three - all three my dad ironically bought for me even though he hated the symbol. One was a little sphere sort of locket type that could hold a crystal or a pompom for essential oils. I kept a green pebble in it. The next being a small silver colored one on a black rope string and the third being a much larger metal, silver colored one from Spencer's. This was all before pentacles were readily available at Hottopic and you had to hunt for one at the local Spencer's or Indie shop. I also wore a Celtic knot a lot, of which my aunt bought for me at a renaissance fair. 

Even if I wasn't a practicing witch any longer, the symbol always gave me peace. When I was having a particularly rough time, I kept it close. I would draw the knot for protection on notebooks, pieces of paper and even my wall for protection. I wore my pentacle on the black rope every single day under my clothing while my dad was dying of cancer. 

Now I always was very interested in the occult and supernatural. I had always wanted a ouija board (oh, silly child) and a tarot deck but (despite his insistence that he was a skeptic) my dad refused to allow such items into his house. I'm not sure when it exactly clicked, but as most of you know I went through a very rough time in 2015. At the beginning of the year I became very, very sick which lead to me having permanent tinnitus. I became wracked with anxiety to the point where I couldn't function. I would barely eat. I could not leave the house, in fear of a panic attack starting and becoming dizzy or passing out from it. I barely slept - at the height of it I went a week sleeping maybe two or three hours a day. I would be up all night with panic attacks, unable to calm them and would slip into my mom's bedroom once she left for work to try to get a little sleep. 

Aside from medication, rediscovering Wicca saved my life. One day I just had the random urge to get back to it. So I began to read up on it more and devouring every single topic that I could. It gave me something to hold onto and give me some sort of hope while I was struggling and losing my mind. I studied intensely for months. I bought a large hardcover journal to use to record my Book of Shadows (a witch's spellbook. The name derived from the fact that witches were forced to hide and practice in the shadows for so long in history. Also referred to as a grimoire. ) and I recorded all sorts of spells and information in it for 8+ hours a day for a month, all handwritten. 

Before I knew it, I had gotten through my anxiety or I was doing better and I had become immersed in the craft. It all felt so good! I found that I was rediscovering myself after all of my breakdowns and panic and Wicca helped me to return to the root of who I am. It allowed me to become more at peace and more myself. It is just one of those feelings where you know what you're doing is so, so right. 

There is so much information, but  I did my best to provide basic knowledge. If you ever have any questions, feel free to ask! 

Xoxo
Heather Zombie


Sunday, December 25, 2016

Christmas Ramblings + More Updates?

Hellooooo!!! I just wanted to take the time to wish everyone a very happy holiday season. If you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas. If you celebrate Hanukkah, happy Hanukkah! If it's Kwanzaa you celebrate, happy Kwanzaa. For my fellow Pagans: I hope your Yule was very merry.

I hope that everyone has had a lovely holiday, whatever it is that you may celebrate. I am as always so very thankful for all of the wonderful friends in my life, whom without I would not even be here. Special mentions go out to Vicky (as always, my dear <3), Natasha, Becky, Jeff, Mike, Charlie, Amanda and Cara for being such wonderful friends and always being there to deal with my ups and downs and my strange quirks. You are all very dear to me <3.

My holiday has been pleasant, nothing full of fanfare and spectacularities (is that even a word?), but drama free and calm :). Last night for Christmas eve I got all dolled up to go to my aunt's house in New York (the state, not the city). Every year she has a Christmas party with her family and my uncle's family. Though not exciting (honestly boring, I'm not one to just sit around with nothing to do but socialize) it was nice. The group I traveled with (my mother and grandmother) had to leave much earlier than anticipated though, due to slippery roads tormented by black ice. It was a nerve wracking drive home, but we made it safely! I was a little sad to not spend more time with my cousins who I hardly see, but I wasn't too disappointed to get home. For one; I got to throw off my bra, watch Bob's Burgers and color. But I also didn't have to deal with the depressing part of the evening for me.

The Christmas season typically is really depressing for me and is a very difficult time. Christmas was my dad's favorite holiday and without him it has been really hard. Not just that, but when he was sick with cancer he was sick all during the holidays; being his worse the last two weeks of December and passing away the first week of January. It's like a triple whammy for me - Christmas and New Years without him and his death anniversary on the 4th. It is always difficult for me to see everyone so happy around the holidays and especially happy with their families - because I don't have that anymore. At my aunt's house when everyone gathers around the tree and opens gifts it reminds me of what I lost. Not of the gifts - those I don't care so much about; but the pure bliss of spending Christmas with both of your parents without a care in the world.

This year I was fortunate enough to not fall into my deep black hole of despair that typically consumes me in December. I had fully expected it to, especially with the 5 year anniversary drawing near of losing my dad and of it being five years since he was so sick. I was in a decent head state this year - I think mostly to throwing myself into my work and working on giving generously to my loved ones. I was even listening to Christmas music!

I do tend to get a little despaired towards the end of the holiday, when my mom decides that she has had enough family time and goes into her room to watch tv , leaving myself alone for the evening. Despite that slight lament there, I'm okay. I spent the day with my mom and the cats. We opened gifts when I woke up and we watched movies while we tinkered with our gifts. We also spent time playing with the cats with their new toys. My big chunky kitty, Nina looked like a grizzly bear standing on her hind legs trying to get the mouse on a string toy I was hovering over her. The one part I do really like about our Christmases now is that we just stay in our PJs all day! Hahaha.

As for more updates - hopefully my pretties! I make no promises, BUT I received a new laptop for Christmas. I am hoping that with it I will update more frequently. One of the reasons I scarcely update is difficulty posting from my  tablet and my desktop computer. My old computer is at least 10 years old and constantly freezes, so I was looonggg overdue! I am very happy, now I can work efficiently and work more on my writing!

Anyway, hope you all had a lovely day and a lovely evening. I would ramble some more, but my wine is making me sleepy. Zzzzz

Xoxo

Heather Zombie

Thursday, December 8, 2016

Recent Reading

Hi everyone!! Today I'm going to talk about what I've been reading.

 I read a LOT! In fact I read every single day. I have a nightly ritual before bed that consists of classical or ambient music, herbal tea and reading. 

Fan fiction 


I read so much fan fiction, it's rather sad. Sometimes it is needed though to satisfy cravings for more story especially with instances like the Harry Potter series where all of the books have been written and the series has ended. Fanfiction/fanfics/fics are simply fan written stories based upon a certain fandom. 

Attack on Titan Fanfiction 



Since the summer I have been reading tons of fan fiction from this crazed fandom. Of course 99% of it is all totally gay. I read mostly Erwin x Levi fics but I will also read Levi x Eren. There has also been the rare Levi x Petra. A lot of the stories I have read are too embarassing for me to post here for recommend! Hahaha ....oh, the smut! 

Harry Potter Fanfiction 



The Harry Potter fics I read are MUCH tamer compared to the AOT ones. My favorites are ones that pick up from the ending of book 7 (before the epilogue). I also really enjoy "butterfly effect" type ones, where something small in the course of the series is changed in the story and how that affects everything else. 

I am currently reading The Lion's Pride, sequel to The Lion Tamer by James Spookie.

The Lion's Pride - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6554334/1/The-Lion-s-Pride
The Lion Tamer - https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6311215/1/The-Lion-Tamer


 It is basically a take on the series where Harry begins dating Daphne Greengrass in his 5th year and how different things are as a result. For those that don't know, Daphne Greengrass is a character the fandom absolutely loves to play with! She is briefly mentioned in The Order of The Phoenix and she is known to be a Slytherin. Her little sister, Astoria Greengrass is married to Draco Malfoy in the epilogue of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Not much is known about Daphne, so fans have fun tinkering with her character. It is a common head-canon (a fan made canon, not actual canon) that Daphne is one of the neutral or good Slytherin - she isn't a death eater and doesn't support them.

 As a Gritherin/Glytherin I fully appreciate this!! Not all Slytherin are evil or cruel. Ie - Horace Slughorn. I say Gritherin/Glytherin because I have been sorted in both Gryffindor and Slytherin by Potter more. When I first joined the website I was sorted into Gryffindor; when they relaunched the website it was required for members to register again - I was then sorted into Slytherin. I am stuck in between - I feel a part of both houses and I have pride for both. I have the courage and kindness of a Gryffindor - I've dealt with a lot in my life. I also have the determination and cunning of a Slytherin. I refuse to give up on my goals and I keep my aspirations high. I will do whatever I need to achieve these goals and I will plot plans in order to make them happen.

 Some of my favorite Harry Potter fanfictions are: 

Recnac Transfaerso by Celebony 


This fic seems silly to some and it's really angsty/emo...but I absolutely LOVE Harry's characterization in it. He is just the sweetest nugget! In all seriousness this story is about Harry magically extracting cancer from a muggle whom he really cared for and having to take it on himself, with no magical cure. This fanfic really helped me to get over my whole "burst out crying simply at the mention of cancer" type issues. 

Harry Potter and the Battle of Wills by Jocelyn 


It has been a long time since I've read this one. I don't remember much of what happens, I just really know I enjoyed this one immensely. 

Harry Potter and the Summer After The War by Mrs. Granger 


I wish Mrs. Granger wrote more than 2 in this series. It is so good! As the title says the first fic focuses on the summer after the war. The series takes it from right after the battle of Hogwarts through Harry's first mission as an official auror.

 Antiquity Link by Semprini 


 I totally recommend any of Semprini's works. They have quite a few series, some being different takes on Harry's life and story while in school, others post- Hogwarts. I really enjoyed this one. Basically Harry becomes sick of everyone and everything, on a whim runs away on a plane and goes to stay in Japan for a while. It's really cool how the author envisioned the difference between English and Japanese wizarding society and culture. Plus Fred is a ghost in this one, which results in occasional hilarity. 

Miss Peregrine Series by Ransom Riggs



 I started reading Miss Peregrine's Home For Peculiar Children a year or two ago but it didn't hold my interest, so I moved on. When I saw the trailers for the movie - done by my favorite director, Tim Burton my interest was once again piqued. This summer I gave this book another shot and was pleasantly surprised. Once I got past the dragging and monotonous parts I could not put the book down. Without giving much away it is about a teenage boy named Jacob Portman. He was incredibly close to his paternal grandfather, Abe Portman. Growing up his grandfather would show him pictures of "peculiar" children and tell him all of the stories to accompany them by. Abe was a paranoid man convinced monsters were out to kill him. Upon his death under mysterious circumstances Jacob thinks he saw a monster kill him and he finds a last message from his grandfather. So he travels to the island that his grandfather grew up on in order to piece together the fragments of the past. 

I am now starting book 2, Hollow City. I have literally read 1 page so I cannot report back on it quite yet. 

Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them Original Screenplay by J. K Rowling 



I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan, I will read anything my goddess and savior J.K Rowling writes in the wizarding world. I was going to wait to read this until I could see the movie, but I do not anticipate that happening any time soon so I dug in. I'm not far into this book yet, but the format is similar to The Cursed Child. I am really enjoying the story so far! Niffler is precious and I'm awaiting to see more than a glimpse of the Bowtruckle. I really like Newt so far too. Fun fact - even as a die hard fan that has read every book over 20 times a piece, until recently I was misreading Newt's last name as SCHMANDER, not Scamander as it actually is. Anyone else have moments like that with literature? 

I remember as a child reading the first two books before the movies ever came out I misread quite a few words! Severus Snape was Serverus Snape, Diagon Alley was Dragon Alley, Privet Drive was Private Drive, Prefect was Perfect, Karkaroff was Karakoff. What was wrong with my brain back then?? Bonus, I would pronounce Hermione as Her-Me-Own until the movies came out and Sirius as Sir-Eye-Us. LOL 

Throne of Glass series by Sarah J. Maas



 This is a series that Vicky and myself discovered while browsing the library; we were hoping to find a good fantasy series that we could both read and discuss. Honestly, we couldn't have made a better choice. It is like Game of Thrones mixed with The Hunger Games. The story follows Celaena Sardothien (Sell-Aye-Nah Sar-Doth-Ee-En Yay for me pronouncing it correctly in my mind while reading!), she is a famous assassin imprisoned in a work mine. Miraculously she has lived longer than any other prisoner there. One day the crowned prince of Adarlan, Dorian Havilliard pulls her from the mines - he announces that she is to be his champion in a tournament to become the king's assassin. If she competes and wins then she will earn her freedom after 7 years of service. Of course, this isn't an offer she can refuse. Despite her contempt for the kingdom and its corrupt king she goes along and vows to win so that she may finally be free. But all is not easy! All of her competitors are men and brutal assassins at that, plus something is mysteriously killing the other competitors. 

I am currently on book 3, Heir of Fire.

 I LOVE this series. Celaena is such a badass; not just that but she's tough and intelligent too. She can get down and dirty but she is also very feminine and adores beautiful clothing. There is magic in the series from sort-of unexpected places; the series is filled with so many twists and turns. There is romance and I admit a rather silly love triangle - but the love triangle isn't the focus of the story; Celaena is. I totally recommend reading this. Don't let the YA categorization fool you! 

Attack on Titan Manga



 If you follow me then you most likely know about the incredibly popular anime; possibly the most popular anime in the world with the most cracked out fanbase. I have such an intense love for Levi as well as a huge craving to find out what happens after season 1 leaves off. I am currently on volume 14 (roughly chapter 55/56). The manga is really good and I am so enthralled my the story and the shitstorm the characters find themselves in.

 Astrology



 I am always researching something. I love to research topics of interest; I love enriching my mind. As of late Astrology has been particularly interesting to me, so I have read a few books on it as well as some online research. 

Poe Short Stories 



In October I was in my usual spooky mood so I read some of Edgar Allan Poe's short stories in the scariest place - the laundromat. All kidding aside, the bathroom at my local laundromat is fucking terrifying. I had to venture in there to get paper towels once.....never again O_____O. I have a dislike for public restrooms to begin with, I would literally weep if I were forced to use that particular facility. I love the master of macabre; I find that no one quite write such hauntingly beautiful pieces of literature quite like him. My favorite story of his is The Masque of Red Death. 

Fun fact - in high school for an English final we had to do a presentation with a certain chosen medium and pretend that we were the main character from a story we read that year. Me being the eccentric person I am, not even thinking chose The Cask of Amontillado and I had to present songs that could fit the story as Montresor. That paired with a multitude of metal music was in poor choice, I'm pretty sure everyone thought I was nuts. My teacher was giving me the strangest looks and some of my fellow students looked scared. It probably didn't help that when I was done I walked up to a kid that was laughing at me through my presentation and screamed in his face. 

If you want to see what I've read or keep up with my reading, follow me on Goodreads. Seriously, guys pleaaseee join me. I would love to have more friends to follow on there! 


Xoxo Heather Zombie