Hellooooo!!! I just wanted to take the time to wish everyone a very happy holiday season. If you celebrate Christmas, Merry Christmas. If you celebrate Hanukkah, happy Hanukkah! If it's Kwanzaa you celebrate, happy Kwanzaa. For my fellow Pagans: I hope your Yule was very merry.
I hope that everyone has had a lovely holiday, whatever it is that you may celebrate. I am as always so very thankful for all of the wonderful friends in my life, whom without I would not even be here. Special mentions go out to Vicky (as always, my dear <3), Natasha, Becky, Jeff, Mike, Charlie, Amanda and Cara for being such wonderful friends and always being there to deal with my ups and downs and my strange quirks. You are all very dear to me <3.
My holiday has been pleasant, nothing full of fanfare and spectacularities (is that even a word?), but drama free and calm :). Last night for Christmas eve I got all dolled up to go to my aunt's house in New York (the state, not the city). Every year she has a Christmas party with her family and my uncle's family. Though not exciting (honestly boring, I'm not one to just sit around with nothing to do but socialize) it was nice. The group I traveled with (my mother and grandmother) had to leave much earlier than anticipated though, due to slippery roads tormented by black ice. It was a nerve wracking drive home, but we made it safely! I was a little sad to not spend more time with my cousins who I hardly see, but I wasn't too disappointed to get home. For one; I got to throw off my bra, watch Bob's Burgers and color. But I also didn't have to deal with the depressing part of the evening for me.
The Christmas season typically is really depressing for me and is a very difficult time. Christmas was my dad's favorite holiday and without him it has been really hard. Not just that, but when he was sick with cancer he was sick all during the holidays; being his worse the last two weeks of December and passing away the first week of January. It's like a triple whammy for me - Christmas and New Years without him and his death anniversary on the 4th. It is always difficult for me to see everyone so happy around the holidays and especially happy with their families - because I don't have that anymore. At my aunt's house when everyone gathers around the tree and opens gifts it reminds me of what I lost. Not of the gifts - those I don't care so much about; but the pure bliss of spending Christmas with both of your parents without a care in the world.
This year I was fortunate enough to not fall into my deep black hole of despair that typically consumes me in December. I had fully expected it to, especially with the 5 year anniversary drawing near of losing my dad and of it being five years since he was so sick. I was in a decent head state this year - I think mostly to throwing myself into my work and working on giving generously to my loved ones. I was even listening to Christmas music!
I do tend to get a little despaired towards the end of the holiday, when my mom decides that she has had enough family time and goes into her room to watch tv , leaving myself alone for the evening. Despite that slight lament there, I'm okay. I spent the day with my mom and the cats. We opened gifts when I woke up and we watched movies while we tinkered with our gifts. We also spent time playing with the cats with their new toys. My big chunky kitty, Nina looked like a grizzly bear standing on her hind legs trying to get the mouse on a string toy I was hovering over her. The one part I do really like about our Christmases now is that we just stay in our PJs all day! Hahaha.
As for more updates - hopefully my pretties! I make no promises, BUT I received a new laptop for Christmas. I am hoping that with it I will update more frequently. One of the reasons I scarcely update is difficulty posting from my tablet and my desktop computer. My old computer is at least 10 years old and constantly freezes, so I was looonggg overdue! I am very happy, now I can work efficiently and work more on my writing!
Anyway, hope you all had a lovely day and a lovely evening. I would ramble some more, but my wine is making me sleepy. Zzzzz
Xoxo
Heather Zombie
I like the shout out along with glad seeing you be in a better mind space. I personally can't say it gets easier losing a loved one however it becomes bearable that you can still live your life.
ReplyDeleteHere's to a new year!